Unexpected Blessings
It amazes me to witness a plan take place that was not your intention, but you later discover that it was always part of God's intention. This is how I feel about our newest addition to the family, Ella Grace Brewer. I have to be honest...when I first found out I was pregnant with her, I cried for weeks! However, I was not crying for the reasons that most would be crying. I'm not sure if this is something that all parents experience after losing a child or not, but after losing Allie, Michael and I turned into extremely panicky parents. I mean, we can easily freak out over a wart or something. We really have to fight the urge to keep them in protective bubbles that are permanently attached to us so that we know they are always safe...LOL. So, where most would immediately start thinking of all the inconveniences that come along with having ANOTHER child, our minds immediately go to all of the things that can go wrong with the pregnancy or birth that would cause us to lose the child. The worry and fear is so intense and overwhelming that it feels almost unbearable. It is a big struggle for me to find that faith that I once had. Satan definitely found my weakness. God continues to give me opportunities to build my faith again, though :) We did not "plan" to add another child to our family, and at first I was so consumed with the worries that I couldn't see the bigger picture. I believe God sent Ella to us, because it was perfect timing. A few months back when many mothers' eyes were filled with tears because they were registering their baby for Kindergarten, mine were filled with tears because I knew of one that should have been registering this year but would never get the chance. Had she have still been with us, my Little Allie would have been starting Kindergarten this year on her 5th birthday! Can't believe she would have already been five years old! He KNEW this was going to be an emotional summer and starting of school for us, and I really believe that He sent us another little angel to add some extra happiness to help us through. Allie's new baby sister has been just the little spark this family has needed. Mason helped us survive, Reese brought us back to life, and Ella has added happiness. I'm feeling very blessed and thankful for those unexpected blessings!
