Great Fourth

Well, I have been keeping myself so busy lately that I haven't even had a chance to post about our 4th of July Holiday weekend. Honestly, prior to the holiday I had built up a lot of anxiety, but like I have stated so many times before, "God is Wonderful!" He knows our every need and exactly what to do to take care of us. Throughout our entire grief process with Allie, He has allowed our emotional struggles to see-saw back and forth so that one of us could be strong while the other was falling apart. Of course, I have done most of the falling apart while Michael has been the strong one, but lately God has been with me and allowed my emotional breakdowns to take a back seat so that I could be strong for Michael and help him.


The week before the fourth did cause my emotional see-saw to fall down again, because as I stated before I had some anxiety built up about this past weekend. For those of you that do not know, I had several baby cousins that were born around the same time as Allie, and this was going to be the first time I had seen them since Allie passed away. Please let me remind everyone that I do not get upset because there are other babies. Babies, especially the ones that are Allie's age, just remind me how much I am missing her and how much I wish she was still with me. Anyway, I had this horrible fear that I would not be able to contain my sorrow and wind up ruining every one's holiday. God knew better. He was with Michael and me every step of the way, and we had a fabulous 4th of July. Michael and I talked about how much fun we had, and how emotionally beneficial it was for both us. It has been an extremely long time since we have felt happiness, and it felt so good to be filled with laughter and surrounded by family and friends that love us. It was an awesome day, and we didn't take a single picture. Guess you will just have to take my word for it :) I hope your fourth was as great as mine!