Friday, January 13, 2012

Happy 3rd Angel Day, Allie!


Three years ago today my sweet baby angel spread her wings. I was told that it takes about that long after a loss to begin putting the pieces of yourself back together. I'm starting to see that little by little. My days are not perfect and there are even times that I feel like I'm going backwards instead of forward, but somehow I learn to just keep going. Not sure how it happens, I just know that it is only by the grace of God. I'm sure Heaven rejoiced on this day three years ago, but it left a permanent hole in my heart. Maybe one day I will be strong enough to rejoice as well. As for now, I can't help but wish for her to be back in my arms. I long to just dream of her, so that I can see her once again. As you can see, I still have a long way to go, but I feel like I can definitely say that I am in a better state of mind now than I was three years ago. So time does change the pain (I can't say that it takes it all away or heals it, but it does help). My imagination runs wild when I try to think of what she might look like now, and I can't help but smile when I think of her running and playing in Heaven with all of the other sweet angels. For some reason, I always picture her with redish, brown, curly hair, wearing a white dress, and twirling :) It is also interesting to me that her baby sister, Reese, LOVES to twirl, and does so on a regular basis (I need to research and find out how common it is for a one year old to be able to twirl ). God truely blessed us with Allie, and we cannot be more thankful for the opportunity we were given (to be the parents of an angel). Our love for her is so strong, and she will forever remain in our hearts. My prayer is that God will continue to let us have more good days than bad, and that he will show us the best ways to use our experience to help others and spread His glory. We are thinking of you, Allie, today and always! We love you and miss you very much.

3 comments:

Jfrank January 14, 2012 at 7:27 AM  

You ARE strong and Allie knows you and Michael love her (and lots of others as well!) I can just picture the twirling-and I doubt there are that many 1 year olds that can twirl ;-) Hugs and kisses to Allie!

Michelle Free January 14, 2012 at 7:53 AM  

Susan, I love you so much. I think about you and your family quite often and pray for you. My heart can't comprehend, nor can my mind. I pray for peace and comfort for you. I pray for God to give you dreams of her as they are glimpses of her in Heaven. I pray He let's you feel her in your arms. I pray He guides you and directs you, and uses your testimony to help others and bring Him glory. Oh the crowns you will have! I pray your days keep getting better and better and that the good always outweighs the bad. I pray God heals and mends your heart. I bet she just dances and twirls with Jesus! I bet He tells her stories of you. I bet she is excited for the day you will have a Heavenly reunion. Susan, there are no words that I can say to help you or heal your hurt. If there were I would say these words, write them, sing them, shout them. I will always be here for you. I will never expect you to just be strong and move on. I hope and pray that somehow on this day, God overwhelms you with His peace, comfort, and love. I love you.

Gamma and Granddaddy,  January 14, 2012 at 8:21 AM  

Thinking of you all and praying for God to give you comfort in ways you can't imagine. We are remembering Allie today as well and praying that you have a special day. Hug and kiss Mason and Reese today for us. Love you!

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