Re-entering the real world
Unfortunately, the world does not stop when you loose a loved one, even though you feel like your world has stopped turning. My dear friend Sherry told me that she realized, after losing her son, that the world keeps going whether you are a part of it or not. So, basically, you have a choice. Are you going move on with life or not? I choose life, because I have a three year old that cannot raise himself. He desperately needs his mommy to be able to love him, protect him, and care for him. So, yes, there are no ifs, ands, or buts about it~ I choose life, but lately I have had some apprehension about re-entering the real world. My time off is drawing to a close, and I have been very depressed about 'getting back in the swing of things'. Please don't get me wrong, I am grateful for all the time I had, and I realize that many don't even get that opportunity. I am also very fortunate to have had such a great support from co-workers. Teachers from all around donated time and days to me so that I could be with Allie. Is that not amazing how God's power works? I also miss seeing my sweet students, and I know that it will be nice to see all of my co-workers again, but it is difficult thinking of making that initial step. I think that the thought of getting back into a somewhat "normal" routine saddened me because, in a way, I thought it would mean that I was forgetting about Allie. That is not true at all. It's just life and that is what happens; your mind slowly starts to transition from always thinking of your tragedy to starting to think about your loss less and less. You learn to keep going, and you move on by going back to your routines, and that was scary to me. Finally, I came to the realizatoin that even though it may cause your mind to stay busy on other things instead of constantly on your loved ones, it never ever means that they will be forgotten. Allie is a part of me, and look what a huge impact she has made in this world. I don't ever have to worry about that precious little girl being forgotten. She will forever be remembered. Thanks to all who gave me the opportunity to have time with Allie, and please continue to pray that God will give me strength.
6 comments:
Hello Susan: I look forward to seeing you soon. I know it is and will be a difficult transition back into work. Just remember that we are all still praying for you, Michael, and Mason. If there is anything I can do to help you in anyway in the next few weeks please let me know.
I love you all,
Gail Pace
Oh, Susan, I can only imagine what you are feeling. I know other people who have lost children, and they have the same fear as you: That their child will be forgotten. Allie has touched so many people, that there is no way she can ever be forgotten. We continue to pray for your families healing. With much love! Patricia
Susan,
I can't imagine what you are going through. I want you to know that I think about Allie dailyand I share her story with people often. Just know that she will NEVER be forgotten. She has touched too many lives for that. Checking your blog has become part of my morning routine. I love to see her beautiful face every morning!
You are always in my thoughts and prayers,
Catie (Haney) Hamilton
Susan..even though are experiences were so different..i still feel that way..i entered the world thinking that sitting at home alone would drive me crazy..and well i have slid backwards and now am right back at home...i pray that you will be able to handle things better than i am..i love you susan..and even though i hate being apart of this painful club together..i am glad that i met you..and that we can go through this together and know that we are not alone in this world.
kayla
Dear Susan,
Of course you are not forgetting Allie by going back to normal life. I am sure she would want it that way. There are also lots of people who have followed her story that will also remember her. She will never be forgotten. She was such an inspiration and she touched so many lives. Many more than anyone could even imagine. I pray that God will give you the strength you will need to get back into your normal routine. May it help knowing that there are a lot of people who are praying for you.
Lynne
Susan, one of the greatest things about teaching are the children. Even they experience bad things in there life but when they give you a hug and a smile all of your worries seem to go away for a brief minute and thier's do too. There were many days when those little arms of my students giving me a hug and a smile made my life so much better. I know they all missed you so much and they understand the pain that you have gone through but from experience they can help make that pain a little more tolerable. I am so glad to hear that you are going back to teaching.
Thinking and praying for all of you.
Love,
Amy Reaves
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