Making it

Well, I did it. I somehow managed to survive my first week back in the real world. Of course, I was just visiting work this week, so I guess next week will be my true test. I absolutely could not have made it this week without the strength from God and everyone's uplifting prayers. Everyone was wonderful. They greeted me with quick hugs and briefly stated that they missed me or that they were glad to see me back. It was also great seeing all of my sweet students again, and I was so thankful they had a great sub that took care of them while I was away.

It was a good week, but I have to be honest, it did feel a little akward. Having Allie, changed my life in many ways. I have a completely different outlook on life because of her, and that is a good thing. With these new experiences comes difficulties as well. It is almost like I have to relearn how to be social, because it feels like I don't belong. I am now a member of a club that I never wanted to join, but I didn't have a choice so I have to learn how to make it a part of my life. I have already conquered many trials along the way. At first, just getting out of bed was an accomplishment. Then, getting past seeing her things lying around the house was another step. I would completely loose it, at first, when I found one of her tiny socks in the wash, or when I emptyied her syringes out of the dishwasher, or found a bottle in the car, or saw her lonely Boppy pillow that she always laid on while I was feeding her, or saw her favorite toy, or tripped over her swing that she loved, or walked past her empty room. Now, I am thankful to have them, still in their place, and I find comfort in seeing her things and remembering her with them. Just like with all of these other stages, I learned to take things one step, one phase, one moment, and one day at a time, and I will continue to do the same with God's strength.