Looking Back on 2009

This is one year that I am actually glad to see GO. I don't mean to sound so negative because the year 2009 has brought some wonderful opportunities into my life, but it was a treacherous road to travel. Ringing in the New Year for '09 was probably one my fondest memories, because I had my sweet Allie by my side. She was never expected to live even one day, but yet she lived for days, weeks, months, and surprisingly stuck it out to see a new year dawn. It was shortly after the New Year when '09 took a turn for the worse.




We lost our Allie on January 14th, 2009 and have struggled to regain our balance ever since. Most of this year was spent putting on fake smiles and pushing through the pain of getting out of bed every morning. Moments of laughter fell few and far between and was something that only a few could find in us, and how thankful we were for those moments. The approach of Holidays, which are thought of as joyful, were things that were dreaded for us because we knew they would be spent in tears. Tears that called out for mercy. Tears that pleaded for the pain to be taken away and for our daughter to be back in our arms. Therefore, when I look back on the year 2009 the following things will probably be what I remember most.

2009 was...

The year that I lost my daughter.
A year filled with sadness.
The first time I had to celebrate holidays missing one of my children.
When I threw a one year old birthday party without the guest of honor.
The year that my son had to learn many tough lessons about life and death.
The year I started blogging.
When my faith was shaken.
The year I grew closer to God and my family.
Mason's first (of probably many) E.R. visits for staples.
Michael's first time to be put to sleep for a procedure.
The time I had to say a speech on my daughter's behalf.
The year I helped raise awareness for Trisomy 18.
When Mason first became obsessed with the Blue Angels Jets.
A time that I learned what NOT to say to someone that has lost a loved one :)
When I witnessed how ONE person could make a difference in others' lives.
The time I discovered what a great community of family and friends I have.
When Michael and Mason both lost their first dog.
AND
The year that I realized how bad a mother's heart and arms could ache for her child.




I thank you all for your love and support, and I hope that the year 2010 is a good one for everyone. Sending you lots of love :)